One of the hardest parts of doing this is telling your family, friends, etc. about your decision.
My family took it pretty well, I guess they knew I would never stay for long. The person that impressed me the most was my dad. He is always quite skeptical about big changes and risks, he always thinks twice about everything and is very wise in general. As you can imagine I was expecting some kind of big lecture on how hard things are going to be and that life isn't going to get any easier just because I moved countries.... but instead he was the first one to say he fully supported me, I mean I still got the lecture but it really made me feel like I can count on my parents in case things go wrong. As for my grandma she still thinks I'm joking every time I say I'm moving in September, but she is the cutest! :)
Now about some friends and acquaintances... I have been getting some really weird reactions from them.
They ask me why I really want to go as if I had some kind of second intentions about moving. The main question is always: "What is your reason for wanting to go?" but with the kind of tone that says: "Do you really think you're going to do better out there? Is it really wise to move when you have a job here?" Sometimes I think they all think I'm making a huge mistake, that I'm supposed to stay! I think it is normal to be sad and not wanting your friend to go because you will miss him, specially if your member in a church, but I've been feeling they don't get me at all. As you can imagine I am also really scared and am always thinking: "What if things go wrong? What if this is not what God wants me to do at all?" This kind of attitude has not been good for me at all. Today a lady from church that I really like and respect told me that in her opinion people are better off staying in their home churches because they will grow much more... Really? that is not how I think at all! I love my church and the way God has been working in it but I also think no one is irreplaceable, that you will grow in your faith wherever God chooses you to be. One of the stories that pops on my head with all this is the one about Jonah and the big fish.
The story opens with God speaking to Jonah commanding him to preach repentance to the city of Nineveh. Jonah found this order unbearable. Not only was Nineveh known for its wickedness, but it was also the capital of the Assyrian empire, one of Israel's fiercest enemies. Jonah, a stubborn fellow, did just the opposite of what he was told. He went down to the seaport of Joppa and booked passage on a ship to Tarshish, heading directly away from Nineveh. The Bible tells us Jonah "ran away from the Lord." In response, God sent a violent storm, which threatened to break the ship to pieces. The terrified crew cast lots, determining that Jonah was responsible for the storm. Jonah told them to throw him overboard. First they tried rowing to shore, but the waves got even higher. Afraid of God, the sailors finally tossed Jonah into the sea, and the water immediately grew calm. The crew made a sacrifice to God, swearing vows to him.
Instead of drowning, Jonah was swallowed by a great fish, which God provided. In the belly of the whale, Jonah repented and cried out to God in prayer. He praised God, ending with the eerily prophetic statement, "Salvation comes from the Lord." (Jonah 2:9)
Jonah was in the giant fish three days. God commanded the whale, and it vomited the reluctant prophet onto dry land. This time Jonah obeyed God. He walked through Nineveh proclaiming that in forty days the city would be destroyed. Surprisingly, the Ninevites believed Jonah's message and repented, wearing sackcloth and covering themselves in ashes. God had compassion on them and did not destroy them.
Unlike Jonah I don't want to ignore what I think is God's will for me. Do not think I'm taking this lightly, I had a whole year to ponder and think about things and to pray about it, I have doubts every day and as I told you before I am afraid that this is not actually what God wants me to do. But I also don't want to be living in a 'what if' land where I regret not having made the move because I was afraid and because of what people say. Are we not called to get off our comfort zones? Or is England considered a comfort zone because it is not a third world country?...I feel like I have taken too much of your time already, but I would really like to know your thoughts on this...
I really just pray that God truly guides me and helps me to look at Him wherever I am and whatever I am doing.